Sexual Compatibility in Marriage

Danstel September 21,2020

Sexual compatibility is defined as the extent to which a couple’s sexual beliefs, preferences, desires, and needs are similar or complementary with their partner. It therefore implies that either or both of the partner has a sexual taste or preference that he/she hopes will be replicated or matched by his/her partner.

The problem of sexual incompatibility in marriage stems from the fact that the spouse is unable to match their expectation. The question then should be how did this spouse develop the present sexual appetite that he is asking his partner to match? How healthy is this sexual appetite? And how reasonable or ridiculous is this desire?

Some sexual expectations were developed from wrong premises like erotic movies and porn sites. Always remember porn stars are actors and actresses who are payed for the role they play in the movie and that may not be a true representation of their actual bedroom practice.

In addition, the more experienced sexual partner should understand that it takes patience and time for the less sexually active partner to catch up. Is it possible you slow down and be patient with your partner so they can catch up with you? Is it possible your partner has gone through some deep emotional hurt in their past that needs time to heal? If you are truly in love with this person, this situation is a true test of love.

Lastly and more importantly, if before marriage sexual compatibility wants to be confirmed before commitment, for me it leaves much to be apprehensive about. It subtly tells me that my partner is not interested in me for better for worse as the good old marriage vows declares.

It is scary to imagine that the person, I have decided to spend the rest of my life with, committing to leave and forsake all for and choosing to cleave to, will insist that he wants to commit to me only when it is convenient for him.

Allowing my thoughts to run wild, it means he may not stand by me in sickness, in pain, in debt, in childlessness, in bad times or when life happens…..(and it certainly will) In as much as I don’t support deception in the first case, but frigidity in marriage is not a good ground for divorce or verifying sexual compatibility before marriage.

Ladies especially should watch out for people who want you only on their own terms or when it is convenient for them! Think about it.